Quick Note

My computer is having problems connecting to the Internet at the moment so blog posts may be few in number over the coming days till the problem can be resolved.

In other news, I finally bit the bullet and joined Facebook a week or two ago after a year of saying I wouldn't do it but you can't avoid one of the two juggernauts forever. So far so good I've found the site to be a lot better than I had imagined and a lot more user friendly than I had been told sure their is some issues but that's to be expected. If you want to talk to me on there, there is a thingy on my sidebar that shows my profile pic and details to help you find me.

In even more news, I have finally gotten past the pre-writing stage for the sitcom pilot I am writing, it's amazing how much work you can actually achieve without the distraction of the Internet. I've started my first draft and am above averagely happy with the progression so far. It's my first ever script in this format I'm more used to writing feature length or 1 hour drama scripts so the 30 minute 5 jokes a page style of writing is very new and very exciting to me. Anyhoo that'll do for now as I only meant to update you all on the Internet problem, haha, I hope to have that fixed by the weekend at the latest.

Thanking You
The Housebound Writer

Sit Down Comedy

As I'm in a good mood today for some reason or other I thought I'd do a post filled with some of the really bad jokes I know. They're a bit Jimmy Riddle but bear with me it aint often I'm in a good mood these days. I'm also putting up my latest doodle a self portrait which I'm kinda pleased with as I'm no artist by any stretch of the imagination.


self portrait I doodled on my computer.



-Jokes-

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field.

The Englishman says “Look at that marvellous English cow.”

Shaking his head the Irishman responded with “No, that’s an Irish cow if ever I saw one.”
The Scotsman thought for a moment took a swally of his lager and then settled the squabble. “Nah yer both wrong, it’s a Scottish coo- it’s got bagpipes underneath!”

           

Did you hear about the man who lost his left side?

It was touch and go fir awhile but he’s al right now.              

How dae you get a Scotsman onto the roof?

Tell ‘im the drinks are on the house.

Did ye hear about the Scotsman who married a girl born on February the 29^th?

It was so he'd only have to buy her a birthday present every four years?

Did you here the Energizer Bunny got arrested?
He wiz charged with assualt 'n' battery.

Glasgow Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone down the lavvy and he’s in serious financial problems. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask God for help.

“God, please help me. Ah’ve lost ma wee store and if ah didnae get some money, ah’m going to lose my hoose too. Please let me win the lottery!”

come the night of the lottery someone else wins. Joe prays again.

“God please let me win the lottery ah’m going to loose ma car as weel!” come lottery night still no luck. Joe prays again. Ah’ve lost ma business, ma hoose and ma car. Ma bairns are starving. Ah didnae often ask ye for help and ah have always been a good Christian boy for ye. Please, please let me win the lottery just one time so ah can get back on ma feet!”

Suddenly there is a blinding flash as the heavens open and the voice of God himself thunders:
“Joe at least meet me half way and buy a ticket!”

I'll no burden you way any more.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

Quick cane update

Just a quick update from my last post, I received my new cane today so here's a couple of photos to show you what it's like.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

What? Where? Who? Oh I forgot....

Spent the last ten days outlining a spec sitcom script I'm considering writing with annoying results. Firstly, I have a lot of ideas for plots, character traits, dialogue and so on but the closer it comes to sitting down to actually write the script itself the less I can muster the damn energy to be bothered to actually write it. Secondly, my brain seems determined to start spit balling ideas for another project that is completely different to anything I've ever written before but at the same time interesting enough to keep my wandering attention focused on it instead of on the sitcom script. I'm starting to think I'm loosing my interest in the writing process entirely at this point as I've not really written anything I'd consider of any worth for many a month with the exception of maybe a script I co authored in January.

In other news I have had to buy myself a cane from an online store recently as I can now not move around the house without hugging the walls or gripping the furniture so leaving the house has been not possible and will remain that way till the cane is delivered by the royal mail service and we all know how reliable they are. Why buy a cane you live in the UK can't you get one on the NHS? You may be asking well as I'm tall those extending walking sticks the NHS hands out are actually to small so I would end up getting a crutch or something like that. Getting measured for a cane definitely feels about two steps away from getting measured for a coffin especially when you factor in I'm only 28 years old (29 in May) and already walking like a pensioner with a bad hip and to think people wonder why I have such a pessimistic outlook on life, I wonder why?

Movie Trailer
Here's the trailer for Paul a film that is definitely on my must watch list for 2011, I'm a big fan of both Simon Pegg and Nick Frost and going by the trailers it appears to be another hugely funny collaboration between the pair.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

A Writer's Point Of View

I thought it would be interesting to get different screenwriters' perspectives on the art and craft of screenwriting and when I found these clips online I thought it would be a good idea to share them here with all (few) of you. I hope you find them as enlightening as I did.

First up Christopher Vogler the author of the international best selling book The Writer's Journey.

Next is Joe Eszterhas the screenwriter of Basic Instinct, Jagged Edge and Flashdance and the author of the acclaimed book The Devil's Guide To Hollywood. He talks about his extensive research for various writing assignments.

And finally Randall Jahnson who has been writing for over 25 years in Hollywood and written screenplay drafts for The Mask Of Zorro (credited as story by)  The Doors, Gun (video game) and Sunset Strip.

Thanking you
The Housebound Writer