Monday, 28 June 2010

Killer Penguins 3D

Great quotes generally come from great people be it:
(Hope these are right they are from memory)

"For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill." by Sun Tzu
"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing." By Oscar Wilde
"A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus." By Martin Luther King Jr.
"A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand" By Plato
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." Edgar Allan Poe

" What the F***, killer Penguins?" may not fit into this fine list of great quotes but it did make me laugh out loud when I read it in a screenplay I received via E-Mail from a friend of mine, maybe friend is to strong a word, acquaintance? Maybe... Nah only kidding there B. A. B. Now If you ever get the chance to check out one of his scripts I implore you to do so as they are hilarious and thankfully that is on purpose. I won't put his link up here as it will really annoy him as he hates for people to help him in his search for traffic to his blog but trust me it is themed in name and if you can find it, maybe you can read the daft words of B. A Binoculars himself AKA the Cinema Voyeur.

B.A's blog posts are about his experiences getting into Movie Premieres and test screenings and often kicked out and what he thought of the films. He butchers a lot of films in a very humorous way and at times he goes over the top but it's out of love for movies he says. I've recently been well I wouldn't call it conversing maybe interrupting chatter with him on MSN about his latest script as he wanted me to give him some feedback on it, an E-Mail ten minutes later with his script attached and off I went trying to comprehend his latest incarnation.
It started off with an explosion at an Oil Mining facility at Antarctica which leads to all these penguins getting infected with Satan's oil as he calls it and in turn they become Killer Penguins! He wants to make it in 3D even though he hates all the recent 3D horror movies but as I said he's a bit out there. Anyway I had received the E-Mail and literally fifteen minutes later he sent me another E-Mail to ask what I thought, back on to MSN I go and this is the conversation.

ME: I've just started I'm going to need like a couple of hours to really get through it.
B.A: Sure, sure so what do you think of the opening sequence? Pretty sweet right? Didn't see that coming right?
ME: To be honest with a title like Killer Penguins From Hell, I kinda didn't know what you would do for the opening but fire and ice where two images I had in my head.
B.A: Yeah big bang, fire burns the screen and the opening credits come up 'KILLER PENGUINS FROM HELL 3D', catchy isn't it?
ME: Real catchy but maybe you could just call it Killer Penguins 3D.
B.A: Oh oh thats good like it like it, what else? Hit me, give me some of your thoughts.
ME: I was wondering how much you were attached to your lead character's name?
B.A: What do you mean AC?
ME: Well it's a bit low brow even for horror, don't you think?
B.A: What Part?
ME: The whole thing she's called T**Y Gumble, don't get me wrong there B.A it's funny in a childish way but when you are trying to create suspense it's best not to have a character, your main character having a daft name.
B.A: I see what you mean, I see yeah yeah It's a good point there AC before we go on when you get to the part where we meet her sister just mentally change her name to Joan or Beth or something, OK?
ME: What's she called now?
B.A:I'd rather not say but trust me it's funny but I see your point man yeah it doesn't help the suspense and all that.
(I skim ahead and find the name, think of something completely dirty to go before Gumble and trust me it's what your thinking)
ME: So I'll get back to you on the script?
B.A: yeah no sweat no sweat, what you working on? You still writing that show about the news guys? That s*** was funny man.
ME: I wrote about ten of them then someone wrote a fan fiction episode and it weirded me out a little, who writes fan fiction for a show that hasn't been made yet?
B.A: Yeah I read that one it was funny but didn't have the same bite as the others.
ME: I actually thought when I read it, it was paced better than my episodes she really worked the whole add breaks in well and kept up the previous episodes' story arc quite well.
B.A: Yeah but she didn't keep the sick humour there, it was all about the other guys rather than the sick guys with low morals, I loved those guys man.
ME: I do too to be honest I think I wrote the characters better in those 40 page scripts than in my movie scripts which is actually depressing.
B.A: That show has to be made my friend time for you to come to LA, we got great docs over here.
ME: To expensive, and I'm not physically able but one day I'll be there.
B.A: And I'll be your tour guide.
ME: God help me.
B.A: dude that was cold cold dude come on, cold.
ME: Icy cold, what you been up to other than writing Killer Penguins?
B.A: Don't that just sing to you? Killer Penguins 3D!!!!! I was at a test screening for *********(edited to save him from legal action) it blows and with all the budget they had I didn't see it on screen.
ME: Really, what did you put on your form?
B.A: Told them it was great of coarse, duh.
ME: Why?
B.A: Cause I God damns can't stand ******** (again edited for his sake)
ME: Hehehe.

B. A is a cool guy even if he has named himself after an eighties TV character, I finished reading the script and it ends rather strangely but actually with some politic overtures which if this was ever made would catch a lot of people of guard. He does this a lot he likes to writes a B genre script and then throws in political or social commentary at the end as his wee message to the World which I actually think is pretty cool. If it was me I would tend to write the whole script around that topic rather than just putting it into the mouth of a character that has been chased by deranged penguins for ninety minutes but I think his way is actually a good idea.

Anyhoo that's enough of that, just thought it would be fun to share one of our weird conversations with you guys.

Thanking You

The Housebound Writer

Friday, 25 June 2010

Diary of the Non Dead

For the last two weeks I've been keeping a kind of diary of all my seizures for my Psychologist for her to try to discover if there is any kind of trigger causing them. I have to write down when it happened, how long was I unconscious for, what was the last thing I was thinking about, if I turned my head to the side just before the seizure happened and what I felt like afterwards. To be honest I'm finding it rather depressing having to sit down and think about what was going through my mind just prior to being woken up on the floor with blood spurting out of my forehead because I've headbutted the damn Bannister again but if she thinks it will help who am I to question it, right?

The most annoying thing about this whole diary Palaver is I'm supposed to fill it in just after I come round from a seizure but at that time I'm completely out of it, room spinning you know total feeling of being drunk mixed with being on a ship bouncing up and down on rough waves not the best time to sit down and try to write a diary especially as it is almost completely impossible for me to hold a pen as I have no feeling in my hands. As expected by me I've kind of got lazy with this whole diary thing and haven't filled it in for a couple of days and am now having to try and wing it as I can't honestly remember what I was thinking about just prior to some of my most recent seizures with bad memory and all guess this is why filling the diary in just after is a good policy but heho that was never going to last long as an option.

I've been suffering real bad the last three weeks with insomnia and have only gotten about two hours a night sleep with some nights no sleep at all. To say this has made me crabby would be an understatement as the slightest wee thing has been driving me mad as of late thankfully I've been able to keep up with my blog posts and Blog Catalog discussion boards along with various other boards I post on at times over the last three weeks this has been all that has kept me sane. I found myself on a discussion at three forty five in the morning a couple of nights back trying to kill some time as my brain was working overtime and I could not for the life of me get any sleep. I tell you birdsong may be the sweetest noise in the World but at four in the morning when you haven't slept in five days you just want to go out and strangle that little birdy.

Anyhoo that's enough of this depressing post, just needed to vent I'll be posting a short story up on the blog in the coming days and I have a couple of more Movie News entries to do if anyone has a request just leave it in the comments and I'll get right on it and to cheer us all up here's a picture of my sidekick Oscar.

Thanking You
The Housebound Writer

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Second Enquiry

Second request this time by another fellow Blogger who is a master of poetry, Kenia Kris. Kenia asked "Do you like the Coen Brothers? Could you think of a post or a series of posts talking about their movies?" well to answer the first question yes I love the Coen Brothers' unique view and filming style in fact The Big Lebowski is by far my favourite movie of all time. The second question got me thinking, what could I write that has not already been said about these four time Oscar winning Filmmakers? Well he goes I hope you enjoy.

Joel's film career started earlier than most think before his first film as Co-Director/Writer/Producer/Editor with his younger brother Ethan he found work on two low budget horror films the first of which was the little remembered Frank LaLoggia's Fear No Evil and he followed this up with working on as then unknown filmmaker Sam Raimi's career making movie The Evil Dead. On both films he was credited as assistant film Editor, he later along with his brother wrote the screenplay for Sam Raimi's less successful follow up movie CrimeWave but it was their independent film shot on a budget of $1.5 million dollars in 1984 called Blood Simple that launched them into the conscious of the film making community if not the mass movie going public.

Their follow up film would change that as they would soon become a well known commodity with screwball comedy Raising Arizona which starred Nic Cage and Holly Hunter and it was also the first in their long collaboration with John Goodman. Between their first two films the brothers made a name for themselves in Hollywood with their writing ability as they are reported to have been brought into do writing work on such 80's films as Spies Like Us, Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom, Twilight Zone: The Movie and Fletch all of which has went uncredited as writers replaced them on each project which is a shame because if you watch these films you can definitely see some of their writing on the screen.

Their first epic motion Picture was definitely Miller's Crossing which showcased a new side to the two Brothers and it's here that the filming style for future movies such as No Country For Old Men was born. With Barton Fink and Hudsucker Proxy next out of the Coen Brother assembly line in quick succession and to rave reviews it appeared they were ready to unveil there masterpiece to the world and that masterpiece was a little movie called Fargo. Shot on a budget of $7million the film would go on to gross over $49million worldwide and win big at the Oscars cementing the brothers as the new big thing in town.

Unfortunately with a great hit comes a great backlash and the Coen Brothers suffered this when their next movie and in this writer's opinion their best opened to weak box office. The Big Lebowski would go on to gross $39.5million worldwide but in the USA it was not a hit and the backstabbing began in Hollywood, was Fargo a fluke? This is what the big guns believed and the Coen Brothers' would have to make a come back quick to maintain their earlier success and the film they tried to do this with was O Brother, Where Art Now? A budget of $25million which is less than it's star could request today as his salary, the film went on to gross $45.5million it wasn't the great comeback the Brothers' would have been wanting but it was enough to rescue them from Movie Jail for another few years at least.

Their follow up picture was The Man Who Wasn't There with a budget of $20million this black and white old fashioned movie was maybe guilty of being a little to unconventional in it's style as it went on to only gross $7.49million worldwide and sent it's makers to Movie jail for a short stay. I actually like this movie and feel it's very underrated but it should have been shot on a far tighter budget or independently from a studio.

The next film they would attempt was one they weren't originally scheduled to direct in fact the original director was Ron Howard who left half way through to go shoot The Missing, they were brought in originally to overhaul the screenplay which was written by the talented Robert Ramsay and after Howard departed the project it was George Clooney who recommended the Coens to direct. The studio trying to keep Mr. Clooney happy agreed and Intolerable Cruelty was made. Budgeted at $60million to accommodate the salary of George Clooney a reported $14million the film went on to gross $35.1million worldwide at the box office but it recouped any and all losses on DVD as it was one of the biggest sellers that year.

After Intolerable Cruelty the boys took a break from Directing and decided to produce what was then a Bill Murray vehicle called Bad Santa but when Murray pulled out to star in Lost In Translation the boys hired their old friend Billy Bob Thornton. The film shot on a budget of $18million went on to gross over $60million at the worldwide box office and make Thornton into a bigger star. Confidence back the brothers decided to remake the British comedy Classic The Ladykillers which I have always felt was a major mistake. The film was budgeted at $35million and grossed $64.2million off the name value of Tom Hanks alone not the quality of the film. The original is far Superior and Hanks is horribly miscast in the Alec Guinness role. This was followed up by the musical Romance & Cigarettes which the Coens produced and Coen Brothers' film regular John Turturro Directed.

After a two year gap of pre production the brothers returned to directing with another masterpiece in the form of No Country For Old Men, shot on a budget of $25million this masterclass on directing went on to gross $159million Worldwide and relaunched the brothers' into the big leagues of directors in Hollywood. Josh Brolin was not the first person to be courted for the role of Llewelyn Moss the original choice was the late Heath Ledger but he decided to take time off from acting instead and Josh Brolin went on to own the role.

Some short films followed this as they awaited George Clooney to finish his filming commitments so they could start Burn After Reading. Burn was budgeted at only $37million due to all the lead actors taking severe pay cuts to work with the Coens, the film went on to gross $155million Worldwide.

In 2009 the brothers made a very personal film entitled A Serious Man, the film was based on their own upbringing. It was made on a budget of $7million and grossed $31million worldwide, if you haven't seen this film you should check it out, very well made and very funny. Next up for the brothers is their long awaited remake of the western classic True Grit, with a cast including Josh Brolin, Matt Damon, Jeff "The Dude" Bridges and Barry Pepper this film is shaping up to be another Oscar contender for the brothers.

They are also writing the script for the remake of The Gambit which is scheduled to be directed by Doug Liman, Suburbicon a film the brothers are looking to direct themselves and the long rumoured The Yiddish Policeman's Union which is rumoured to reunite them with John Goodman as well as starring Sean Penn.


Thanking You
The Housebound Writer

Saturday, 19 June 2010

Response to Comment

A comment left after the last post "Popcorn on the Cob" by The Gangster of Love asked what do I know about the Film The Rum Diary? Well here is what I know about it:

The Rum Diary is based on a novel by the late great Hunter S. Thompson, writer of "Where the Buffalo Roam" and "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas". It was produced by Dark and Stormy Entertainment the company behind the TV shows "Kidnapped" and "My Own Worst Enemy". It was shot on location in San Juan, Puerto Rico and was Directed by Bruce Robinson famed for directing "The Killing Fields" and "Withnail and I" from his own screenplay. It stars Johnny Depp as Paul Kemp a freelance journalist who finds himself at a critical point in his life while writing for a run down newspaper in the Caribbean. Paul is challenged on many levels as he tries to carve out a more secure niche for himself amidst a group of lost souls all bent on self destruction.

It co stars Aaron Eckhart, Amber Head, Giovanni Ribisi, Richard Jenkins and Amaury Nolasco. It has a budget of $45Million and has had a strange and twisting journey to the screen. At one point the film was going to be directed by and star Benicio Del Toro till financial problems arose, other actors rumoured to appear in it over the years have been Josh Hartnett, Brad Pitt and Nick Nolte. Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson were both up for the role of Chenault but lost out to Amber Head.

Here are the first two pictures released of the film.

It was scheduled to be released this year but has been put back 3 separate times so far and rumours suggest the studio aren't quite happy with the final cut of the Picture. I think they are probably waiting to release it during Award season or when the next Pirates of the Caribbean flick gets released to catch some of the Depp factor off that film. Hope this is helpful Gangster and keep your eyes peeled on that Neighbour of yours and The Lawnmower Man.

Thanking You

The Housebound Writer

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Popcorn on the Cob

Time once again for some good old fashioned movie gossip so here we go, first up Lord Of The Rings prequel The Hobbit may have a new director after all. After the financial woes at MGM forced Iconic filmmaker Guillermo Del Toro to relinquish the director's chair this film has been gathering dust but step forward Middle Earth's new champion...... David Yates! Granted to a lot of people this name may not be easily recognisable but he is the director of Order of the Phoenix and the next two (and final two) Harry Potter films so he has a good pedigree with handling big budgets plus he will obviously have Peter Jackson as his Executive Producer and two years worth of pre visualisation and development work by Del Toro to work from.

The only wrinkle in the way of this is Yates has months of post production in front of him for the first of The Deathly Hollows movies before it arrives in November and then again for part two of The Deathly Hollows running through to Summer 2011. I think this will undoubtedly force the Studio's hand and the director's chair will be filled by Alfonzo Cuaron due to his close friendship with Del Toro as the Studio is banking on starting production by the end of this year.

Next news is from 20Th Century Fox looking to get all of it's x-men spin off projects up and running after the success of Wolverine: Origins the gossip mills around Hollywood have been in overdrive and very interesting developments have been discovered regarding the long touted Deadpool movie. With star Ryan Reynolds already signed on to a supposed three picture deal the Studio has been in the market for a director.

The LA Times has done some digging and discovered that Robert Rodriguez has been sent the script to consider, now nothing is set in stone on this one but Internet message boards have been rife with Comic Book fans who are drooling at the mouth at the mere prospect of this coming to fruition. It is promising after all Rodriguez' last two movies, Predators and Machete, have went into production at the Studio but as big a fan of his work as I am I think the Studio will be waiting to see what kind of Bank Predators does at the box office before signing any contracts.

With the disappointing box office numbers for Grindhouse still on the Studio Head's mind Rodriguez will need a hit to get his career back on track. One great bit of news on this subject is that Zombieland writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick have written the latest draft of the script so the humour from the comic should be on show in the film.

Lastly I'd like to clear up a very funny rumour that has gotten slightly out of hand on various message boards out there. The rumour I mention is that of me being approached to write A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 this is not in any way true. I know a lot of message boards out there say I had an interview for the writer's gig via Scype with New Line Executive VP of Development Samuel J. Brown but it is a prank or something I've never had a meeting with New Line or this Samuel J. Brown guy who's name I had to look up online to see if he was a real guy, (he is) the writer of Nightmare On Elm Street 2 is Eric Heisserer who wrote the first film.

I made the mistake of going on one of those boards and saying this because the next day I clicked on it and low and behold there were fifty three replies saying that I only said it to keep it under wraps and that there was some kind of conspiracy and God knows what but it's just a prank by someone who had read my previous spat with the Executive I mentioned on the blog post The Problem With That is part 2.


Thanking You
The Housebound Writer

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Just created a chatterbox for the blog so you can voice your collective opinions about whatever is being posted about or whatever is on your minds and I'll respond to it. Made this decision after a brief online conversation with a fellow blogger by the name of Jonas Widlund (hope I spelled that right Jonas) who says it's a great way to keep in contact with the visitors to your blog as like me he feel the comments page is for the visitor not the host to comment on. I had looked into creating one before but am not computer savvy enough to start tinkering with the programming of the blog but this chatterbox was a copy and paste one so that works well for me, that's my limit when it comes to this sort of thing.
In other news not like the above is news or this is to be honest but bare with me, in other news I have been approached recently from someone I haven't spoken to in months. His name is Robert Greening and he used to be the administrator of a very successful website named Screenwrite4life where new and experienced screenwriters alike would gather together to showcase their most recent scripts for feedback (sometimes good, sometimes bad) from the rest of the community.

Every February there was a competition, open only to introduced screenwriters which was chaired by three professional screenwriters and a script consultant. This year (the last competition ever) I finished first runner up to a writer who a month later sold his winning script for a six figure sum to a major Studio. It was the last competition as somebody only a few weeks later hit the site with a virus bomb and an unbelievable amount of spam which wiped the site of all content and also recked some of the visitors to the site's computers. Robert decided the hassle of bringing back the site was to much and that was that until now. He recently contacted me to inform me that he had been hired by a Smallish Production Company with a penchant for making Horror movies, in the role of an Executive (one of those guys likes me) and had gained the trust of his bosses.

He had used this new found trust to show some of the screenplays that had featured on his site around the company and apparently one of my old script had gathered some attention. "Could you get over to LA if I set up a meeting?" Rob asked. No but thanks for the opportunity buddy was the only answer I could give, in my current medical condition I couldn't spend that much time couped up on a plane. This I thought was the end to it but later I received another E-Mail.

"Look I wouldn't be able to get you funding for it or anything but what do you think about making an online documentary series about your struggle with illness, your perseverance to try and sell your scripts and writing your blog? It may open some doors for you" He asked. Honestly ........No, I don't think I could, for it to be a proper documentary I would have to open up my psychotherapy sessions to a camera and that I could not do even if I were the camera man and I couldn't thrust a camera in the face of my family for my own career advancement.

But then again maybe I'm over thinking it, so I decided to get your thoughts on the topic. Should I film some stuff and see what it's like? What would be the right kind of content to show? What would be the wrong kind of content to show? Should a documentary only be made to document world events, political analysis or social and ethical quandary? Or am I right to keep my counselling sessions private as they are intended? I'll listen to all comments from you guys and then take it from there.


Thanking you
The Housebound Writer

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

The trouble with that is..... Part 2

A few posts back I wrote about the amount of sequels, prequels and remakes in development around Hollywood at the present time well I have had some feed back about my blog on message boards on other sites. Some of this feed back has been good but strangely I had a very angry response from an Executive from a major Film Studio (which will remain nameless for legal reasons) who had taken offence to my comments.
Chiefly he took offence to the fact I had mentioned three film projects he had green lit and he was calling for me to take these film titles off my blog, and post an apology to the Studio. He also used expletives when describing me and stated I had no right to talk about the Film Business as I'm an unemployed waste of space blogger.
Now being someone who firmly believes in freedom of speech I have not removed the film titles and am not going to do so but this response gave me cause to think, is there any topic that you can't write about on a blog? Before the hassle with this Executive (who believe me is a complete tool and I told him so) I would have said there were only certain topics I wouldn't mention. One so Topic would be a recent tragedy like the murders in Cumbria (England) simply because I don't know enough about the circumstances to write about them and I feel it would be hurtful for the families of the victims or members of the community for someone to write about the situation talking about possible motives or reasons for the killer's actions when they are unfounded and unwarranted.

But this situation makes me ponder on other topics that may be off limits, what topics would you never write about? Would you write about Religion? What about the morality of Stem Cell research? These are two topics I myself would stay clear of on my blog as I'm not the right person to discuss such topics as I'm not particularly Religious although I would consider myself to be some what Spiritual. I'm also no scientist and like a lot of people have no real grasp on the ins and outs of the Stem Cell process.

I believe I have a right to comment on the Movie Business as I'm paying for these Movies to be made through purchasing DVDs and my very occasional Cinema visits. Also I have some experience of the ins and outs of the Film making process as I worked for three months on a Film which was made in Glasgow, Scotland when I seventeen. My screen credit? Miscellaneous crew, a nice way of saying general dogs body. I was part of the camera crew for awhile then worked with the sparks and finally found myself as an editor's assistant for which I am entirely grateful for, this experience showed me what happens when a Director with a serious ego loses his crew's respect and loses his job through pissing away the investor's money.

It also showed me what can happen when a script is re-written by a Director who hasn't grasped the original tone and context of the subject matter. I also got to hang out on a film set for three months which to Actors is a completely boring place but for the crew is a fast paced lifestyle and also just really cool. Hopefully It won't be the last time I get to experience this as I would love to put the techniques I acquired making my short films at college to some use and I would love for one of my screenplays to make it to the big screen one day.

Thanking You
The Housebound Writer

Monday, 7 June 2010

BAFTA Television Awards 2010

Well it's that time of year again when all the British TV personalities pretend to all be friends and gather to discover who has won what. This year "The Thick Of It" was run away winner after scoring three gongs. Here is the full list of winners;

Best Actor
Kenneth Branagh- Wallander (BBC One)
Best Actress
Julie Walters- Mo (Channel 4)
Best Supporting Actor
Matthew MacFadyen- Criminal Justice (BBC One)
Best supporting Actress
Rebecca Hall- Red Riding (Channel 4)
Best Entertainment performance
Ant & Dec- I'm A Celebrity..... Get Me Out Of Here! (ITV 1)
Best Male Comedy Performance
Peter Capaldi- The Thick Of It (BBC One)
Best Female Comedy Performance
Rebecca Front- The Thick Of It (BBC One)
Best Single Drama
The Unloved (Channel 4)
Best Drama Serial
Occupation (BBC One)
Best Drama Series
Misfits (Channel 4)
Best Continuing Drama
EastEnders (BBC One)
Best Factual Series
One Born Every Minute (Channel 4)
Best Entertainment Programme
Britain's Got Talent (ITV 1)
Best Situational Comedy
The Thick Of It (BBC One)
Best Comedy Programme
The Armstrong & Miller Show (BBC One)
Audience Award
The Inbetweeners (Channel 4)
Best Single Documentary
Wounded (BBC One)
Best Feature
Masterchef: The Professionals (BBC Two)
Best International Show
Mad Men (BBC Four)
Best Specialist Factual
Inside Nature's Giants (Channel 4)
Best Current Affairs
Terror in Mumbai- Dispatches (Channel 4)
Best News Coverage
The Haiti Earthquake (ITV News At Ten)
Best Sport
World Athletics Championship (BBC Two)
New Media
Virtual Revolution (BBC Two)
Special Award
Simon Cowell
BAFTA Fellowship
Melvyn Bragg

The award to Melvyn Bragg was well over due in my opinion anyhoo

Thanking You
The Housebound Writer

Thursday, 3 June 2010

Total (Non) Recall

The issues with my memory are getting worse my haphazard attempt to bluff my way through my medical history with my therapist has now led to me having to take one of my parents into my next session to fill in the blanks. Can you imagine, at twenty eight years of age needing to have your Mum or Dad go to see the Doctor with you? The word "embarrassment" does not even come close to covering it but hey at twenty eight years old and having to still live with my parents embarrassment comes very regularly to me.

To catch up any new readers here's the situation as it stands, I currently do not have a cast iron diagnosis for my current medical condition(s). I was diagnosed as suffering from epilepsy for about four years until tests proved otherwise. The current symptoms are as follows;

1. Seizures
2. Severe back pain
3. Loss of feeling in hands and feet (which makes walking great distances or even not so great distances a struggle. Also makes writing difficult as I can not tell how hard I am holding anything in my hands, so a pen is out of the question.)
4. Memory problems ( can't remember when past events in my life happened, forget words I should know, call things and people by wrong name etc.)
5. Suffer from depression, anxiety
6. Hands shake badly from time to time
7. Bouts of insomnia usually followed by days of not being able to stay awake
8. Feelings of Deja vu/ paranoia
9. General feelings of tiredness
10. Stomach Ulcers (due to previous medication)
11. Frequent headaches

Nice little bunch of aches and annoyances that put all together make me basically not want to leave the house or my bed if I'm truly honest. These problems have been with me since I was around nineteen, twenty years old and have basically stopped me from existing outside of them, no job, no leaving the house unless to go to hospital or doctor's surgery and basically no life. This hit home hard this morning when I found an old college communications essay of mine where I had been asked to write what I would be doing in ten years, my answer? Was not still living at home it was in fact writing for a living, screenwriting to be precise.

I have had a love of the craft of screenwriting since I was about thirteen, I even sent one of my scripts which was as you can imagine poorly formatted and about fifteen pages to short to the BBC at that time. They sent it back with a surprisingly blunt but fare evaluation of the subject matter, It was a cross between the X-Files and that old sixties show Invasion and not a very good one but I was informed that my eye for scene description and scene length was very strong. May not sound like much but to a thirteen year old from Scotland that was all the encouragement I needed. I had amassed a collection of about fifteen finished scripts and multiple more that I gave up on half way through with maybe four or five of them being what I would consider good enough to be sent out on my old computer before it died on me last year leaving me with only some printed out outlines, treatments and one screenplay I wrote to amuse my brother (cursing, daft humour aplenty).

Now I'm considering where to go from here, with no apparent cure for my illness in the pipeline a career in screenwriting seems as dead as a Dodo but when one door closes maybe another one will open. I've been giving a lot of thought to creating an E-Book and Audio book store with an emphasis on new writers and of coarse selling my own work. Only problem with this is I can't find a lot of good info on the web about how to go about setting it up, there are websites dedicated to setting up online stores but they all seem to specialise in other merchandise.

Anyhoo I've written far to much already on this post so

Thanking You

The Housebound Writer