Friday, 25 June 2010

Diary of the Non Dead

For the last two weeks I've been keeping a kind of diary of all my seizures for my Psychologist for her to try to discover if there is any kind of trigger causing them. I have to write down when it happened, how long was I unconscious for, what was the last thing I was thinking about, if I turned my head to the side just before the seizure happened and what I felt like afterwards. To be honest I'm finding it rather depressing having to sit down and think about what was going through my mind just prior to being woken up on the floor with blood spurting out of my forehead because I've headbutted the damn Bannister again but if she thinks it will help who am I to question it, right?

The most annoying thing about this whole diary Palaver is I'm supposed to fill it in just after I come round from a seizure but at that time I'm completely out of it, room spinning you know total feeling of being drunk mixed with being on a ship bouncing up and down on rough waves not the best time to sit down and try to write a diary especially as it is almost completely impossible for me to hold a pen as I have no feeling in my hands. As expected by me I've kind of got lazy with this whole diary thing and haven't filled it in for a couple of days and am now having to try and wing it as I can't honestly remember what I was thinking about just prior to some of my most recent seizures with bad memory and all guess this is why filling the diary in just after is a good policy but heho that was never going to last long as an option.

I've been suffering real bad the last three weeks with insomnia and have only gotten about two hours a night sleep with some nights no sleep at all. To say this has made me crabby would be an understatement as the slightest wee thing has been driving me mad as of late thankfully I've been able to keep up with my blog posts and Blog Catalog discussion boards along with various other boards I post on at times over the last three weeks this has been all that has kept me sane. I found myself on a discussion at three forty five in the morning a couple of nights back trying to kill some time as my brain was working overtime and I could not for the life of me get any sleep. I tell you birdsong may be the sweetest noise in the World but at four in the morning when you haven't slept in five days you just want to go out and strangle that little birdy.

Anyhoo that's enough of this depressing post, just needed to vent I'll be posting a short story up on the blog in the coming days and I have a couple of more Movie News entries to do if anyone has a request just leave it in the comments and I'll get right on it and to cheer us all up here's a picture of my sidekick Oscar.

Thanking You
The Housebound Writer


  1. Andrew, Big huge HUGS to you, my friend. I don't know how you feel in that I don't have seizures but I used to go through similar miserable pain episodes with endometriosis. I used to keep a pain journal and take so many medications. I pray that you will have a happy end to this soon. I know it's hard. Sleep deprivation CANNOT be helping you so I pray you get some sleep soon. Hope you have some seizure/pain-free days and a lot smiles coming toward you soon. You deserve them. XOXO

  2. I hope you get to feeling better soon! If you don't mind my asking, how long have you been experiencing seizures? One of my very best friends, the guy I went to California with (from my blog), was in a very bad car accident and has been experiencing seizures for about 4 years now. Anyway, I'll be sending some positive thoughts your way!

  3. Chiropractor might prove helpful. sounds like pinched nerves and the equivalent of humanoid spark plugs not, well sparking at the appropriate moment. I am sad you have to go through this ever! I will pray and ask Saint Anthony to find a way for them to help you!!! Hugs.

  4. Beautiful dog by the way. That sounds awful, but it's good that they're trying to figure out what's causing this. Anyways, stay strong, they're always finding new treatments for epilepsy, and if its any reassurance to you, Julius Ceasar had it to and millenia ago when the science was not close to as good.

  5. I like the title of this post, (I probably shouldn’t but I do). Have you tried using a voice recorder afterwards? That might be more useful then straight writing. It would be so agitating trying to make sense of a world with a brain which has just had a fit on you. Though at least your blog hasn’t suffered, I still immensely enjoy it