Monday, 28 June 2010

Killer Penguins 3D

Great quotes generally come from great people be it:
(Hope these are right they are from memory)

"For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill." by Sun Tzu
"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing." By Oscar Wilde
"A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus." By Martin Luther King Jr.
"A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand" By Plato
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." Edgar Allan Poe

" What the F***, killer Penguins?" may not fit into this fine list of great quotes but it did make me laugh out loud when I read it in a screenplay I received via E-Mail from a friend of mine, maybe friend is to strong a word, acquaintance? Maybe... Nah only kidding there B. A. B. Now If you ever get the chance to check out one of his scripts I implore you to do so as they are hilarious and thankfully that is on purpose. I won't put his link up here as it will really annoy him as he hates for people to help him in his search for traffic to his blog but trust me it is themed in name and if you can find it, maybe you can read the daft words of B. A Binoculars himself AKA the Cinema Voyeur.

B.A's blog posts are about his experiences getting into Movie Premieres and test screenings and often kicked out and what he thought of the films. He butchers a lot of films in a very humorous way and at times he goes over the top but it's out of love for movies he says. I've recently been well I wouldn't call it conversing maybe interrupting chatter with him on MSN about his latest script as he wanted me to give him some feedback on it, an E-Mail ten minutes later with his script attached and off I went trying to comprehend his latest incarnation.
It started off with an explosion at an Oil Mining facility at Antarctica which leads to all these penguins getting infected with Satan's oil as he calls it and in turn they become Killer Penguins! He wants to make it in 3D even though he hates all the recent 3D horror movies but as I said he's a bit out there. Anyway I had received the E-Mail and literally fifteen minutes later he sent me another E-Mail to ask what I thought, back on to MSN I go and this is the conversation.

ME: I've just started I'm going to need like a couple of hours to really get through it.
B.A: Sure, sure so what do you think of the opening sequence? Pretty sweet right? Didn't see that coming right?
ME: To be honest with a title like Killer Penguins From Hell, I kinda didn't know what you would do for the opening but fire and ice where two images I had in my head.
B.A: Yeah big bang, fire burns the screen and the opening credits come up 'KILLER PENGUINS FROM HELL 3D', catchy isn't it?
ME: Real catchy but maybe you could just call it Killer Penguins 3D.
B.A: Oh oh thats good like it like it, what else? Hit me, give me some of your thoughts.
ME: I was wondering how much you were attached to your lead character's name?
B.A: What do you mean AC?
ME: Well it's a bit low brow even for horror, don't you think?
B.A: What Part?
ME: The whole thing she's called T**Y Gumble, don't get me wrong there B.A it's funny in a childish way but when you are trying to create suspense it's best not to have a character, your main character having a daft name.
B.A: I see what you mean, I see yeah yeah It's a good point there AC before we go on when you get to the part where we meet her sister just mentally change her name to Joan or Beth or something, OK?
ME: What's she called now?
B.A:I'd rather not say but trust me it's funny but I see your point man yeah it doesn't help the suspense and all that.
(I skim ahead and find the name, think of something completely dirty to go before Gumble and trust me it's what your thinking)
ME: So I'll get back to you on the script?
B.A: yeah no sweat no sweat, what you working on? You still writing that show about the news guys? That s*** was funny man.
ME: I wrote about ten of them then someone wrote a fan fiction episode and it weirded me out a little, who writes fan fiction for a show that hasn't been made yet?
B.A: Yeah I read that one it was funny but didn't have the same bite as the others.
ME: I actually thought when I read it, it was paced better than my episodes she really worked the whole add breaks in well and kept up the previous episodes' story arc quite well.
B.A: Yeah but she didn't keep the sick humour there, it was all about the other guys rather than the sick guys with low morals, I loved those guys man.
ME: I do too to be honest I think I wrote the characters better in those 40 page scripts than in my movie scripts which is actually depressing.
B.A: That show has to be made my friend time for you to come to LA, we got great docs over here.
ME: To expensive, and I'm not physically able but one day I'll be there.
B.A: And I'll be your tour guide.
ME: God help me.
B.A: dude that was cold cold dude come on, cold.
ME: Icy cold, what you been up to other than writing Killer Penguins?
B.A: Don't that just sing to you? Killer Penguins 3D!!!!! I was at a test screening for *********(edited to save him from legal action) it blows and with all the budget they had I didn't see it on screen.
ME: Really, what did you put on your form?
B.A: Told them it was great of coarse, duh.
ME: Why?
B.A: Cause I God damns can't stand ******** (again edited for his sake)
ME: Hehehe.

B. A is a cool guy even if he has named himself after an eighties TV character, I finished reading the script and it ends rather strangely but actually with some politic overtures which if this was ever made would catch a lot of people of guard. He does this a lot he likes to writes a B genre script and then throws in political or social commentary at the end as his wee message to the World which I actually think is pretty cool. If it was me I would tend to write the whole script around that topic rather than just putting it into the mouth of a character that has been chased by deranged penguins for ninety minutes but I think his way is actually a good idea.

Anyhoo that's enough of that, just thought it would be fun to share one of our weird conversations with you guys.

Thanking You

The Housebound Writer


  1. Your post made me giggle. It's good to hear you sound like you're enjoying yourself and having fun. You're also a great friend. :-) Hugs!

  2. Whoa were can I get it..

  3. What a fun post ... It appears as if there is a something to find everyday.... thanks

  4. Great blog! And I'm definitely adding "What the F, Killer Penguins?" to my list of favorite quotes.