Thursday, 5 August 2010

The Wager

So recently I was played into making a wager with Emma that if anyone asked for it I would write a poem on this very blog and dedicate it to her and low and behold someone asked. Now that someone just happens to be a close friend of Emma's you could even say they are like sisters, lol, so now I'm stuck having to write a poem something I have done very few times in my life and place it on here and be treated to the inevitable slagging off from friends and family alike.
I thought as my poem will undoubtedly suck big time I would post a rather famous poem by the great Robert Louis Stevenson also so at least some of this blog post won't be a bad read so here goes.

Robert Louis Stevenson

I will make you brooches and toys for your delight
Of bird-song at morning and star-shine at night.
I will make a palace fit for you and me,
Of green days in forests and blue days at sea.

I will make my kitchen,and you shall keep your room,
Where white flows the river and bright blows the broom,
And you shall wash your linen and keep your body white
In rainfall at morning and Dewfall at night.

And this shall be for music when no one else is near,
The fine song for singing, the rare song to hear!
That only I remember, that only you admire,
Of the broad road that stretches and the roadside fire.

And unfortunately it's now my turn so here goes nothing.

By Andrew G. Carson

She is truly as bonnie as can be
Wi' the opposite can be said fur me
But she calms mi nerves wi' her smile
So full of love and a hint of guile.

Her banter at times is pure bewildering
I havenae a scooby whit she's uttering
She uses text speak tae confuse her man
I have tae Google tae answer back as quick as I can.

She through me a chance when she came a winchin
Cannae for the life a me see whit she was thinking
Aye she never tells me tae haud ma wheesht
For her lugs carry favour and keep the peace.

She thinks she got one over me with this dare
She doesnae know how much I truly care
If she had asked fur a poem fae mi h'art
I would have gladly recited mi love fae the start.
Barf bags at hand for all who managed to get to the end, lol, and the usual service will be resumed from my next blog post honest.
Index of Scottish Words/slang
fur= for
banter= chat
Scooby= (Scooby doo) no clue
whit= what
tae= to
winchin= courting/ dating
cannae= can't
Aye= yes
hauld ma wheescht= shoosh/ shut up
lugs= ears
doesnae= does not

Thanking you
The Housebound Writer


  1. Awwwwwww so so sweet! You know, you should write more poems for Emma! I'm sure she would love it :D! Oh and I certainly do not need a barf bag! Silly you.

    Guess what! I could read most of it without your explanation! I have two friends living in Scotland, so can't wait to tell them this hehe!

    Waves to Emma and Oscar! Hope all is well!

  2. Thanks TJ I write poems for Emma quite a bit I just don't like to post them on my blog because I'm really quite shy to be honest. It's always cool to find people who can actually understand the Scottish slang I'm impressed.

  3. Aah I see! How lovely! No need to post them online indeed ^_^

    Ooh I'm surprised I kinda understood it though! So do not put me to the test please...because I will fail. Really, my mind works in the strangest ways -_-'

  4. AWWWWWW... that is SO CUUUUTE! lol...thank you for the Scottish slang translation at the end. I bet Emma loved this. YAY !

  5. Hey Jazz, I think I took the some what romantic high road compared to Emma's let's discuss private parts route, lol. It's always great to hear from you my friend.

  6. Emma Murty05 August, 2010

    Awww babes I never doubted you would post it or that it would be anything less than absolutely beautiful just like you. I truly love you and would love to spend the rest of my life with you but don't panic this isn't a proposal, lol, there's now a Drew shaped hole in the wall of his house I think, ROTFL, love you babes.

  7. Giggles - grateful thanks for the glossary! You big tartan softie! Now pass me the boff bag, can't take this amount of syrup before lunch (Emmas comment rather than your poem!):) Ah young love.... bless you both.

    We had to read Rabbie Burns at school, could never make head nor tail of his idiomatic speech

    'Ye banks and braes oer bonnie doon.. '

    er, excuse me?

    then I got to 6th form and had to contend with Chaucer: 'Whan that Aprill shoores soughte, and perced May into the droghte..'

    Amazing what they teach in English Literature.


  8. Thanks Juliana it‘s always great to hear from you, I think it's hilarious how they teach any Scots writer in English Literature as we spend our times finding funny and creative ways to butcher the English language, lol.

  9. Andrew, they were both great, Stevenson's poem and yours. You have a gift, my friend, for life and love as well as the wee verse.

  10. Thank you Marty coming from you that is a great honour my friend.

  11. Hey Drew thanks for your advice about my blog I think you were spot on putting my picture next to the "about me" text really does make it feel more personal.

    Also thank you for letting me in on your online club, lol, I feel like one of the cool kids now I guess as Cassie says it must be true love after all, lol, love you DB.

  12. Ems you wrote great blog posts on here and on Jazz's blog you needed to put that talent to use with your own and yes I do truly love you I would have thought that to be obvious girl, lol.

  13. aww that was lovely! you should join the poetry bus for a laugh. (

    And I *love* robert louis stevenson :) he reminds me of being small.

  14. Hi Jessica I'll definitely give that blog a look-see, lol, I like Louis Stevenson too I feel internationally he is very underappreciated.

  15. The Scottish slang absolutely makes this poem Andrew! IT SOUNDS SO LIKE YOU! I LOVE IT! Just reading that poem makes me miss you so much... I love the fact that you lost this wager! BTW, thanks for promoting my BC discussion with your discussion widget. Take Care! ;)

  16. Hey JJ thanks for stopping by and for the kind words.

  17. Hey Drew, beautiful poem! It made me laugh and smile when I saw that you wrote it in Scot's dialect. I didn't even bother reading R.L. Stevenson's poem.

    I know this is a totally different poem, but this kind of remind of a poem by Robert Burns: To A Mouse. lol My husband recited it to me once after he told me had to do the same when he was a kid. He did the whole intonation and action thing. It was so glorious.

    "hauld ma wheescht" or " wheescht yer chops" is a phrase my hubby has been trying to teach me to say. He delights when he hears me say

    Once again, truly love the poem.

  18. Hey Funkee, I love that Robert Burns poem and I can picture you saying "hauld yer wheescht", lol. Thanks for the kind comment my friend.