13/04/2010 - ??????

I'm not dead honest!!!!!!

It's been a while since I wrote anything on the blog and some of you out there actually thought I was dead well I aint I have just been busy for the last month. Busy???? You may ask or may not haha well yeah I know I am a guy that doesn't usually have much going on but I have recently met a girl, fell in love and moved in all in the space of some, some months.

I have also been attempting to piece together a possible podcast I am interested in producing on a bi-monthly basis which would feature regular interviews with people working or attempting to find work in the entertainment industry. I have put feelers out to possible interviewees and have had good feed back I just have to find the time to sit down and actually talk for 40 minutes about whatever springs to mind each fortnight.

I am also prepping a return to writing about the inhabitants of my fictional town Orchid Grove as I feel burned out as of late writing in the screenplay format so I'm taking a step sideways and writing a collection of short stories for the time being to get my creative juices flowing once again and the return to a favourite universe for me is the best way I could think to do so.

I'm also open to Ideas about what content should be included in the podcast so feel free to contribute with any ideas people I like to get feedback and opinions from you guys and gals out there so either by comment on here or by email you can reach me. Well that's enough for this post I'll be back sooner next time I hope (fingers crossed) until then...

Thanking you
The Housebound Writer

Movie Trailers: Or What A Lazy Guy Puts On His Blog!!!



With this likely to be the last Batman film with both Christopher Nolan & Christian Bale it looks like they are ending the trilogy with a bang. Hopefully they can build on the Dark Knight and create another exciting and dark tale to keep the audience on the edge of their seats.

This is one of those films that will either be a great thrill ride or a major flop only time will tell, I am hopeful with the cast involved, Statham, De Niro and Owen should spark off each other so could be a good flick.

I saw a trailer for this at the cinema recently and thought it looked.... well it looked like a good date movie not sure it would be a good film to just see with some buddies but as a date flick it looks not bad.

Another flick that would fall into the date flick category and another one that looks not to bad but there is always that feeling that all the best bits are in the trailer just like with Hangover 2 earlier in the year.

I'm going to be honest I thought this was a rib when I heard about a film based on the game Battleships but nope it got made and answers that question I've had for the longest time which was is there anything Hollywood won't make into a movie? Seemingly no there isn't.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

Challenge

 I was challenged by Tim from http://thetimebi.blogspot.com/ to list 10 things I love and here is my belated list sorry it took so long for me to make it I was busy recently with a bunch of stuff going on both personally and with my writing and got behind with my other commitments.

10           Screenwriting- Be it sitting down with a well-tailored outline or just winging it and hoping for the best the craft of screenwriting is something that fascinates me still and with each new script I learn something new about the process and about myself.

9              Film making- I haven’t done this for a long time but desperately wish to again very soon, I miss the search for answers to unpredictable problems that go with shooting guerrilla style.







8              Movies- From the moment I watched E.T. for the first time I’ve been hooked on watching movies of all kinds no matter if they are good, bad or indifferent I always get something from them.

7              Music- I listen to music all the time as a way to cope with my health issues and if you ask anyone close to me they will tell you I listen to some terrible music but it helps with the pain and the depression.

6              MMA- Probably not what most people would associate me with enjoying but I have been fascinated by martial arts since I was a kid and find the sport very enjoyable.

5              Philosophy- I have read philosophy books for a long time and find comfort and at times annoyance in them but mainly comfort.

4              My Country-  Yep I may take the mick from time to time about my Country but deep down I’m a patriotic kind of guy.

3              Comedy- everybody loves a good laugh and if it’s Billy Connolly, Dara O’Briain or Jim Carrey I love both stand-up comedy and film comedy I have found them both a great way to kick back and relax and forget about anything crap going on in my life.

2              Family- Probably a popular pick for most people or maybe not haha just depends I guess if you had a good upbringing or not.

1              My Girlfriend Emma- I’ll get pelters from people, definitely from my brothers for this one but hey I don’t care it’s the truth.

So there is my list of 10 random things I love, I hope to have some updates about some possible ventures I have lined up in the not too distant future in my next post but untill then.  

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

Get Well Soon Script

Just a short post today as I'm posting the link to my screenplay so here it is;

http://www.keepandshare.com/doc/view.php?id=2998942&da=y

This link should take you to my short script entitled "Get Well Soon" hope you guys like it.

*edit*                                         22/07/2011       00:30am
When i checked this link earlier it worked then when I checked it again now it wasn't so I am not sure if you can only view the script if you are also a member of the file share site which is annoying if true.
*edit*
Thanking you
The Housebound Writer

Lazy Housebound Writer Part ??????

Yep I've had reasons to be behind on my writing recently some bad some very, very good we'll take a look at the bad here it's less complicated, haha. As I stated in my previous post my email and facebook profile were hacked and I went through a lengthy time consuming and in the end rather pointless procedure to attempt to regain control of them as the hacker lost interest fairly sharpish, thankfully (fingers crossed) and hasn't attempted anything untoward as it pertains to  me or a certain other person that was getting a lot of unneeded unfair treatment flung her way for a good 4 or 5 days now. If anyone else is still being inundated with messages or emails from the hacker please let me know so I can try to help anyway I can.

I have recently finished a short 10 minute film script entitled "Get Well Soon" which I had in my head for a couple of weeks and the first draft took me maybe an hour or so to write which just goes to prove procrastination can actually speed things along from time to time. I'll post up a PDF of the script as soon as possible as I'm currently waiting on for a host site to get back to me about hosting it. I'll also be taking up the challenge from my friend Tim from over at http://thetimbi.blogspot.com/ which if you've never paid that blog a visit you really should it is a truly great blog, well, well worth a visit and a follow.

For those who put your names on that sponsor form for the charity donation if I can go till the 8th of August without cutting my hair well it's 2 months in folks and I am still looking like a very bad reject from the 80s and I'm not really intending to cut my hair before I cross the finish line in August no matter how much I want to cos the cause itself that the money is being raised for means more to me that me looking like a complete idiot for a few months so get your wallets and purses ready for that day in a few weeks time haha. I also want an opinion here is this not the most random picture to send someone?

just what am I supposed to be looking at here? You know who you are that sent it what gives, you nut? A back garden in Plains, Scotland mmhh interesting, haha, this is up there with that picture of a tiny dent in your tinier car you sent like three weeks ago what is with the random nature of the pictures? Hahaha. Anyhoo I'll leave it there for now.

Thanking you
The Housebound Writer

Hacked!!!

My email account and facebook account were both hacked yesterday at 2pm UK time and although I later regained control of both accounts they have again been hacked and now with Facebook I have to wait 24 hours to retry to gain back access. Was this just a case of random hacking? Was I just an unlucky victim of the current Internet craze of identity theft? The answer to both those questions is no it was in fact the case of a seriously disturbed person seeking revenge on me and a new special friend of mine for being well simply special friends as bizarre as that sounds so I would recommend anyone receiving messages on Facebook or emails from me in the last 24 hours to delete them as they were as I said sent by someone else.

I hope to have this all cleared up in the next day or two and put the madness once and for all behind me but I don't quite know how long this game of hacking is going to persist. Anyone wanting to contact me can do so here in my comments for this blog entry in the meantime and I'll send my new interim email address info to you and I'll go into more details in a private email rather in such a public forum as this although trust in the fact I'd quite happily say what I thought of this person here but for the sake of all else involved I'll bite my tongue for now.

I guess at least one good thing has come from all this I have broken through my persistent writer's block I have had for the last month and now only have to find the time between trying to salvage my facebook profile and email contact lists to actually sit down and start to write again. I hope to start updating my blog more often again in the near future as apart from this nuisance I've been for the last few weeks really enjoying life for the first time in a long time all thanks to one person that I'll mention in the next blog post I would imagine. I would like to take this time to personally appologise to anyone who may have been sent disgustingly offensive emails from my email they were not written by me but as this is a person hellbent on messing with my life by taking it out on my friends I feel very responsible for any distraught caused to you or anybody else who read the email.


Thanking You
The Housebound Writer

RIP Peter Falk

Legendary star of the hit television show Columbo Peter Falk has died at the age of 83 at his home in Beverly Hills on Thursday 23rd or June. he leaves behind a legacy on both the small and big screen with notable roles in such films as Husbands, The In-Laws and A Woman Under The Influence and in such television shows as Naked City, The Trials Of O'Brien and of course the title role that defined his career in Columbo.



PETER FALK 16.09.1927 - 23.06.2001

Doodles and Time Loss

I haven't been keeping to well the last couple of weeks hence the gap between blog posts and as I haven't been well I have fell behind on writing assignments and pet projects of mine which is really annoying me so all I have to show for the last two weeks are a couple of doodles I did for a laugh one night when I couldn't sleep. So here they are hope you enjoy them.

First up is my attempt to draw Sir Sean Connery which I think bares a slight resemblance to the great man at best.

Next up is my poor attempt at drawing the King of rock 'n' roll Elvis Presley which didn't go quite as well as I'd hoped for if I'm honest with you, haha.

Anyhoo I hope you guys get at least a laugh out of how bad they are haha and hopefully I'll be back with some more updates on my writing projects on the next blog post.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer





Wasteland

Wasteland is a television pilot script I have recently been researching and trying to write. It is about a psychic named Connor Song who is implicated in a young woman's murder so he not only has to solve the case to prove his innocence he must also prove his abilities to the sceptical Detective Inspector Bonnie Morran who is leading the case. I hope it will lead to a full series where Song helps the begrudging police force to solve their more complex crimes and also allow me to delve deeper into his murky past as well as his troubled relationship with his 12 year old daughter who feels detached from her father due to his unending search to discover what truly happened to his wife 6 years before when she mysteriously vanished.

It is some ways the hardest script I have ever written and in other the easiest I'll try to explain this the best I can. What is easy about writing this script is at its core it is a drama about a single parent who is trying to raise his daughter the best he can while trying to balance his work which takes him away from her all the time. He is a somewhat famous tv/ theatre psychic and bestselling author of books on the occult so his work takes him all over the UK leaving his young daughter behind in the care of her aunt and when he is home he spends most of his time trying to investigate his wife's disappearance this schedule does little to diminish his daughter's belief that he cares more about what happened to her mother than he does about her.

The hard part of writing this script is the more I research the more questions I end up with instead of answers. I have finally put in stone what psychic abilities he possesses which took many many hours of consideration and a lot of great help from a good friend of mine who has helped me immeasurably in this area. The problem is I don't as of yet fully understand the complex nature of one of these abilities completely or honestly at all. He has the ability to read tarot cards which many of you may think is relatively easy to write about but in practise it is very complex. Each set of cards has a significance and each card in that set has a significance that I just can't quite get to grips with as yet which is probably to do with the fact that I can't really seem to learn many new things these days probably to do with the brain damage I have suffered over the years which makes this aspect of the character alien to me which is devastating for a writer.

The investigation and crime within the pilot episode is not that difficult to write as I can hear the police officers voices clearly in my head and we all have the basic knowledge of how a murder is investigated. I have recently been in email correspondence with an ex CID detective from London and he has filled in many of the blanks for me without going into to much detail for obvious reasons after all I could have been a nut trying to get tips on how to get away with murder, haha. For the show to be successful in my opinion the character of Detective Inspector Bonnie Morran has to be as strong a character as Connor Song otherwise it becomes less dramatic when they have confrontations and there is less of a chance for there to be any chemistry between the characters in later episodes. I think all too often with television shows they concentrate on creating one memorable character at the expense of all the others which to me is frankly stupid and boring to watch as a viewer.

I'll keep you guys up to date on my progress with the script and with trying to get it into production. It will be a long process as I plan on writing and rewriting this till I get it as close to perfect as possible. Anyhoo that is enough for now I got to get back to writing this script and thinking of a way to make tomorrow not happen ha ha I hit the 29 mark tomorrow which many may be shocked by as they seem to think I'm 35 years old for some reason ha ha.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

What? Where? When? Who? Trailers!!!!

Yep another collection of trailers graces the blog as I am currently neck deep in the writing process on my latest script which has my muse working me overtime. So as I have done nothing of real note this week other than write but not write anything I feel I can quite show here yet I decided to go trailers this time, big shock right???

First up a documentary called How To Live Forever a flick I'm very interested in seeing as everyone I know that has seen advanced screening say it is very intriguing and well put together.

Everything Must Go is a film that has sneaked past my radar so that alone intrigues me that and it stars Will Ferrell.

Next is a Bollywood horror film named Haunted 3D yes even Bollywood films are getting the 3D treatment, anyone else think this whole 3D thing is getting stale again?

I don't really need to say anything for this film it's Kung Fu Panda 2 we all know what we are getting from this one not that it is necessarily a bad thing folks.



I hope to be able to post some stuff from my latest script up very soon and possibly some other content also that I am currently considering doing for which I'll keep you guys posted.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

Writing by the Housebound Writer

It struck me the other day that I haven't placed much in the way of writing samples on the blog for a while so I decided to place this opening paragraph from a story I'm working on up here. It's probably a strange sample to post but I am working on it right now so I felt it was somewhat relevant. I'm currently researching and developing the idea for television and am just exploring the character and concept a little by writing it in this form before I get down to the nitty gritty of writing the pilot episode. I have become extremely interested of late in the possibilities that the small screen opens up to a writer. You get to really delve into characters in more exciting ways and in much more depth than a 2 hour movie could ever allow. Anyhoo if you are new to this blog don't expect greatness off the bat I am a mediocre writer at best this is just a small snippet of what is to come as I am still researching all the ins and outs and haven't settled on certain aspects yet.

Burden- The Princess and The Frog

Is a cup ever truly half empty or half full or is it just a fine line between happiness and desolation? Is the future written in stone or is it just written on the sand with the tide rushing in? At first the darkness would only occupy Connor Song’s soul for the briefest of time after he entered its world to find the truth but of late the darkness had eclipsed the light and his escape window had been trickier to locate once on the inside but alas his burden wouldn’t allow him to hide from destiny and destiny was calling him ever so loud and ever so very clear. It had been four days since little Rosie Miller vanished while walking home from primary school. She had made that very trip home many times before always accompanied by her best friend Talia Walker and Talia’s sweet natured and soft spoken grandmother but on that fated day Rosie made the short trip home alone and home escaped her but she didn’t escape her captor for that Connor was sure and now her pink princess bedroom is haunted by the vulgar silence where once child’s laughter danced merrily. Connor watched as the sun danced through the tree branches overhead as the taxi he occupied travelled along the picturesque suburban street on that early autumn day. A leaf flirted with the wind and finally made its descent to the pavement below to rest alongside its family. Connor lost in thought seemed lost in another world entirely to the bemused taxi driver as he turned to gather his well-deserved fare from the C list celebrity seated behind him. Connor without being prompted or told of the price for his journey handed a bundle of folded notes over to his bewildered driver and gave him that nod that all taxi drivers hope for the nod that says keep the change.

Anyhoo

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

Me an award? You're joking right???



I was given this award by Johnny Madrid aka Tim E. who writes an awe inspiring blog that you can find by following this link: Just Johnny...    http://thetimebi.blogspot.com/  and I can't thank him enough for it. I don't exactly win a lot of awards for anything let alone this oddball collection of ramblings and scribbles I call a blog so I am very thankful indeed. Now there are some rules to receiving this award you give a thanks and a link back to the person who gave it too you (which goes without saying) you also have to share 7 things about yourself (I'll get to that in a bit), award 5-15 other bloggers yourself and of course contact them and tell them of their award.

I didn't have to give to much thought to who I would in turn give this award too so here are the people receiving this award from me in no particular order...

Linda Martin              http://www.needleinanewgroove.com/
Aheila the Writeaholic  http://thewriteaholicblog.wordpress.com/
Jeremy Janson  http://hailingfromgeorgia.blogspot.com/
Ursa Hawthorne   http://www.dyerintherough.com/
Sam Bowron        http://anightmareonsamityvillestreet.blogspot.com/

OK so 7 random facts about me this will be hard to think of stuff I haven't already written on one of these 70+ blog posts so far but here goes nothing...

1. I have lived in the UK all my life (best part of 30 years) and I have only visited London once and it was for a football game this year strangely it was a Scotland game why it wasn't played in Scotland I have no idea.
2. Ironically as a guy who stands anywhere between 6'6" and 6'8" depending on how bad my back is hurting me I have a problem with heights I don't like them be it on a ladder or high building I don't like it at all haha.
3. I am a diehard Airdrie United Football fan but have been to so few games over the last five seasons I feel like a fraud for saying so.
4. As a writer I find writing about dark subject matter much easier than anything else so either I'm nuts or I just have a good imagination........ I think I may be nuts haha.
5. For my work experience placement at high school I spent a week working at my local newspaper learning everything from reporting to printing and loved every minute of it.
6. In the last 6 months I was assigned to write a web series but after seeing the poorly executed 8 minute pilot episode I had my writing credit changed from Andrew Carson to Randal Fleming Jr. to try and distance myself from it but saying that if a second series goes into pre pro Randal will be happy to return to writing duties for a rewarding fee.
7. I am planning to either make it or break from it this year when it comes to my writing. If I don't sell something before the end of the year I will find some other kind of profession and just write as a hobby. No pressure then on me to succeed huh? haha.

Thanking you
The Housebound Writer

So Many Trailers So Little Time

Hopefully this will work and post on the 15th I say hopefully coz I haven't ever done this before I always just post when I've written it so there is a good chance I'll come back to no update on the blog haha. I have put together a slightly weird concoction of trailers here but they all seem to be very interesting film projects and I'm interested to see how they pan out as movies. Water For Elephants is based on a best selling novel so the filmmakers were handed the task of having to keep an entire audience of book lovers happy while cutting enough out so they weren't left with a 12 hour film. Legend of The Fist: The Return Of Chen Zhen is a film I have been waiting for since I heard it was going into production. Donnie Yen is either incredibly brave or incredibly crazy to try and fill the shoes of Bruce Lee but I believe if we all put the Lee film to the back of our minds we will be amazed with the martial arts skills of Yen and the awesome stunt work showcased in this film. There Be Dragons is a film I had heard nothing about until I saw this trailer and to be honest I watched the trailer expecting there to be some freaking dragons in it but this title refers to something else and going by the trailer this looks quite a polished piece of film making that will be well worth a look. Lastly we have The Troll Hunter I had seen this trailer a while back so I don't know if it has already been released in the US or in the UK for that matter I just really liked the documentary style it is shot in which is old hat for horror films now Blair Witch springs to mind but I really like the way this looks.

Thanking You

The Housebound Writer

Holiday Countdown

I'm heading for sunnier climes on Monday as I'm heading to Majorca for 10 days with my Brother and my Dad for some relaxation and drinking and sightseeing and drinking and well you get the picture. So If you don't hear from me for a while don't worry I aint dead more likely slightly drunk and/or sightseeing. My family have had a holiday apartment on the island for 26 years maybe more so we’ve been a lot but we like the culture the people are friendly and the food is great and the weather is definitely an improvement on the weather back home here in rain soaked Scotland but saying that I wouldn’t live anywhere else I love my Country to much to leave it I wouldn’t leave even for a Hollywood career and that is the God’s honest truth.


In other news my sitcom pilot script has entered the usual re-write phase which means I’m both excited and incredibly irritated by it at the same time. Annoyingly this should be the fun part of writing as the shape is there and it’s just about trimming the fat off but by the re-write stage my brain has always already moved on to getting excited about some other project it wants me to undertake and it always tricks me by making it seem so much more appealing haha well this time I am not going to let myself get distracted I owe it to myself to stay focused as I think this may be my best script in years at least the most commercially friendly script i.e. the one most likely to sell as I don’t think my dream A and D trilogy will ever make it to the silver screen and for the people in the know who have read any of those scripts they will know why haha very, very curse heavy and very, very Scottish in humour.

Some people would argue my best script ever may have been my take on the video game Resident Evil a lot of people I showed that script to really seemed to flip out over it and stated it would have made for a better film than what was made but maybe my best script is my other TV venture called Bureau that is truly all kidding aside my dream project and the one thing I have written I would do almost anything to get put on screen. I had logos, mouse mats, cups, posters and all sorts of merchandise made up for this project as I was writing it I even considered having some models made for it as I truly believe this is a project with “hit” written all over it that is of course my opinion but I have so much passion for this project it is evident on each and every page there are so many subtle nuances and character traits sprinkled throughout even characters that appear for a brief scene have extensive backstories written for them even the characters that would be played by extras I really went that anal about the whole thing haha.

Anyhoo as I was saying before I began to ramble on about whatever I was rambling about I will be away for a week and a bit so there won’t be any posts unless I manage to put together some trailer posts to be posted up on certain days when I’m away which is something I would like to do but I don’t know if I will have the time to do so.

Thanking You

The Housebound Writer

Some More Movie Trailers

Hopefully the blog won't jump the shark with me posting more movie trailers up so soon after the last lot but I have been having a break from writing to pursue an other more personal "venture" shall we say instead. Anyhoo I think these trailers look very interesting and there should be something to suit everybody's taste in film.

Ceremony

I have it on pretty good authority that this picture sees Uma Thurman's return to form as an actress after some not so good film roles as of late.

Fast 5

I can't believe this franchise got to a fourth sequel when the first film had no plot whatsoever but if Adrenalin fueled action flicks is your cup of tea (it is mine from time to time) then this looks promising especially with the added casting of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Larry Crowne



This sees Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts reunite on screen in what is rumoured to be an excellent piece of movie making. Hanks is always watchable I find even in his less that great films so this has great potential for making the top 10 of 2011 list.

The Smurfs



Usually I wouldn't bother with a film like this but as I'm in a very good mood I thought it would be funny to put it up here, haha, I'm sure if you have kids of a certain age they will want to see this film and they will probably love it.

The Conspirator



This has Oscar buzz written all over it so it surprises me that it is being released this early in the year. James McAvoy's stock in Hollywood is really on the rise these days with X-Men First Class coming out soon also which is funny if you think it was only a few years ago he was in Channel 4 show Shameless as one of the secondary characters.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

Be late to post

I meant to post this up yesterday but got caught up with talking to friends I hadn't talked to for a few days. I was at the Scotland Brazil footie game in London and have to say it was a great atmosphere at Arsenal's park. Everywhere you went Scotland fans and Brazil fans were co-mingling taking pictures with each other and having a laugh and a sing song as well as a lot of beer, haha. The game itself didn't disappoint either Brazil showed their class from whistle to whistle but the Scots boys did their country proud hanging in there right up till the end and only conceding 2 goals. Here is a couple of pictures I took at the game.

Great view from the stand where we were seated.

Jimmy hats are being worn by my two brothers, haha, only us Scottish would find this a cool look.

I'll post other pictures up later when I recharge my phone. I never saw the incident that made the headlines and going by reports that are emerging the police have stated that the Tartan Army were superb in their behaviour with only a few arrests outside the ground for drunken disorderly, I know not how you tell who is too drunk to go to a footie game as everyone was wasted. I hope we get a chance to play Brazil again real soon and hopefully at Hampden Park it was great to see such illustrious players playing the beautiful game especially as I'm an Airdrie United fan we don't see household names at our games like that.

Thanking you
The Housebound Writer

Movie trailer

Another round of movie trailers for you to hopefully enjoy.

Here's the movie trailer for upcoming Marvel superhero flick Captain America: The First Avenger.

Here's the trailer for Faster starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

Here is the trailer for American: The Bill Hicks Story



This is a trailer I stumbled across and am glad I did it looks like it will be very interesting indeed. It is called Hobo With A Shotgun.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer



So Far So????

I have managed to complete the first draft of the sitcom pilot script I was working on and it's running long (49 pages) so a lot of editing and reworking scenes lies ahead of me. Here is one of the scenes that may be heading for the circular file, it won't be in proper format here but I think it's still readable.

Scene from “Never Meet Your Friends”


Int. Kitchen- day

Lauren is making some kind of health drink concoction in the blender as Drew enters and takes a beer from the fridge.

                                        LAUREN

                      Wait before you get your midday buzz on I want you to try this.



                                     DREW

                     What is it?



                                  LAUREN

                   Something a lot better for you than that.

Lauren points towards the beer bottle in Drew’s Hand, Drew places the beer down on the kitchen worktop. When the blender stops droning Lauren pours the hideous looking lumpy concoction into a tall glass and hands it Drew. Drew takes a look at his fate awaiting him and takes a gulp of air into his throat.

                                 DREW

                 Bottoms up, as the priest said to the quire boy.

Drew takes a large sip and as the liquid touches the back of his throat he spits it back out all over the kitchen work top.

                               DREW
               Whoa college flashback.

                             LAUREN
              You telling me you were on a health kick in college?

                             DREW
              No I just remembered the day I woke up and found a dog peeing in my mouth, what the hell is      in this?

Lauren begins to wipe the worktop clean.

                          LAUREN
             Just the usual stuff, wheatgrass, honey, beetroot and apparently dog pee.

Drew takes a long swig of his beer to clean out his mouth.

                          DREW
            Ahhh, that’s better so you and this Charlie guy?

                        LAUREN
          What about me and Charlie?

                        DREW
          Nothing, nothing it just seems to be progressing a bit quickly is all.

                       LAUREN
          And you are the expert on dating all of a sudden?

                        DREW
         Look I know when it comes to being smooth and slick Charlie is the king of romance and I’m the court jester.

                     LAUREN
        Well you have had a lot of experience juggling your balls.

                    DREW
        Very funny, don’t you think he’s a little too smooth?

                 LAUREN
        Nope.

                 DREW
       Look I know how men think I am a man…

                 LAUREN
      The jury is out on that one.

                 DREW
      Any guy that smooth is only telling you what you want to hear to get what he wants, know where I’m going with this?

                LAUREN
     Oh I don’t know it’s ever so cryptic.

               DREW
   He wants you to give his dog a bone and by dog I mean him and by bone I mean..

              LAUREN
   I know what you mean.

                DREW
   Penis.

Lauren places her hand to her shaking head.

               DREW(CONT'D)
   You need someone who will tell it to you straight no smooth bs crap.

              LAUREN
   What someone like you?

They share an awkward moment of silence.

                 DREW
     What about Rory?

                LAUREN
    What about Rory?

               DREW
    Is this the kind of male role model you want in his life?

              LAUREN
     At least it would be a male role model in his life his own father doesn’t care about him and you

              DREW
     What about me?

              LAUREN
      In the 2 weeks we’ve lived here he’s learnt more curse words than in the rest of his life so far and the jokes!
                DREW
          (Defensive)
     What Jokes?

               LAUREN
      The squirrel joke?

                DREW
     Squirrel joke? Don’t know it.

               LAUREN
      Why do squirrels swim on their backs? So they don’t get their nuts wet.

 Drew tries to hide a proud smile.

             LAUREN (CONT'D)
      That isn’t funny.

           DREW
        It is a little.

         LAUREN
      Not when he tells his teacher it in class. Drew, he’s only 9 years old you can’t get drunk and hang out with him playing xbox all day.

            DREW
        Look I never said I was perfect, I am who I am and if you don’t like that then

           LAUREN
   We should leave, that’s what we’ll do.

Lauren storms out.

         DREW
   Lauren wait, ah fu..ddlesticks.

End scene.

The fu..ddlesticks bit at the end is in reference to an earlier moment where Drew is attempting to not swear in front of Rory (Lauren's 9 year old son). Anyhoo this is a scene I'm not to happy with as I feel it's too long even though it does set up a later scene which I really like so it's hard to know what to do I may end up just reworking it down in length or coming into the scene from a different angle.

Thanking you
The Housebound Writer

Week of Weak writing

It's been a week of procrastination for me as I seem to have found any and everything to distract me from finishing my latest script. It's not so much writer's block as writer can't be bothered to write. I have got all these ideas swimming around and around in my head that I just need to put down on paper but for some reason I just can't find the energy, the will or the time to do so. Maybe a small part of me doesn't want to finishthe script at all as I know I haven't got anything lined up after it to fill my day. How much of a one man pity party was that, haha, I seriously need to find stuff to do other than sleep all day and moan about everything that annoys me I don't want to become one of those old geezers you see on the tv moaning about things they don't actually comprehend I aint far off this right now I just don't venture out enough to be asked my opinion by the media, haha. Maybe I should try and start something maybe a short story or something like that to get my creative mind back active long enough for me to finish.

Anyhoo as I am not in the usual writing spirit these days I thought I'd post this funny Billy Connolly clip from Youtube I hope you guys find it as funny as I did.

Thanking you
The Housebound Writer

Self Doodle

I started doodling recently on my computer and thought I would show one of my recent efforts on the blog. I know it isn't my usual kind of blog post but as my blog is a personal blog I thought as this is what has been going on in my life this week I thought it would make sense to share. Now first thing I'll say is I am no ARTIST I repeat I am no ARTIST I'm an amateur so go easy on me guys I'm only a few weeks into doing these kind of images, haha.

I tend to use weird colours for skin tone as I'm not going for a photo real look (which is a good job as I can't draw to save myself) more an expression of my emotions when illustrating it, to sound artsy fartsy for a moment. In a side note the reason the doodle is beardless is because I shaved my beard off last week but by the time you read this it may be back, haha, not sure about the look at all, anyhoo....

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

Oscar Backlash

Actor Corey Feldman has lashed out at the Oscar organisers for leaving Corey Haim's name out of the In Memoriam  tribute at the Academy Awards on Sunday night.

Feldman told TMZ.com "Corey's films have earned the industry over a half a billion dollars and his work remains an inspiration to young artists worldwide. Corey dedicated his life to the film industry. The same industry that failed to dedicate even 30 seconds to his memory." 

A statement was released by the Oscars producers which reads, "There will always be fans and family members of those not included who will be disappointed by their omission. The Academy extends its understanding and its apologies to those who missed seeing a favourite face in this year’s feature."

Now I may not have been a fan of Corey Haim's entire body of work but I think he and his family deserved for him to be mentioned at the Awards. There have been people mentioned that may have only made 1 film in their lives during the In Memoriam at the Oscars show surely someone who made over 30 movies deserves the same respect paid to him? So as the Academy Awards didn't bother to do so I will do so here, it may not be as glitzy as the Academy Awards or even a fraction of what he deserves but if the mainstream won't acknowledge him then a little blogger like myself might as well.

Corey Haim
1971- 2010

Corey's career started in 1984 with his first role in the hit movie First Born but it was his role as Sam Emerson in Joel Schumacher's The Lost Boys that gained him international fame. He appeared in 40 movies and numerous television series in his career most notably Licence to Drive, Lucas, Silver Bullet, Dream Machine, Prayer for the Rollerboys and cameos in Crank: High Voltage and the Lost boys sequel Lost Boys: The Tribe which was to lead to a further sequel starring himself alongside his good friend Corey Feldman. Corey Haim passed away on the 10th March 2010 in Burbank, California.

Quick Note

My computer is having problems connecting to the Internet at the moment so blog posts may be few in number over the coming days till the problem can be resolved.

In other news, I finally bit the bullet and joined Facebook a week or two ago after a year of saying I wouldn't do it but you can't avoid one of the two juggernauts forever. So far so good I've found the site to be a lot better than I had imagined and a lot more user friendly than I had been told sure their is some issues but that's to be expected. If you want to talk to me on there, there is a thingy on my sidebar that shows my profile pic and details to help you find me.

In even more news, I have finally gotten past the pre-writing stage for the sitcom pilot I am writing, it's amazing how much work you can actually achieve without the distraction of the Internet. I've started my first draft and am above averagely happy with the progression so far. It's my first ever script in this format I'm more used to writing feature length or 1 hour drama scripts so the 30 minute 5 jokes a page style of writing is very new and very exciting to me. Anyhoo that'll do for now as I only meant to update you all on the Internet problem, haha, I hope to have that fixed by the weekend at the latest.

Thanking You
The Housebound Writer

Sit Down Comedy

As I'm in a good mood today for some reason or other I thought I'd do a post filled with some of the really bad jokes I know. They're a bit Jimmy Riddle but bear with me it aint often I'm in a good mood these days. I'm also putting up my latest doodle a self portrait which I'm kinda pleased with as I'm no artist by any stretch of the imagination.


self portrait I doodled on my computer.



-Jokes-

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field.

The Englishman says “Look at that marvellous English cow.”

Shaking his head the Irishman responded with “No, that’s an Irish cow if ever I saw one.”
The Scotsman thought for a moment took a swally of his lager and then settled the squabble. “Nah yer both wrong, it’s a Scottish coo- it’s got bagpipes underneath!”

           

Did you hear about the man who lost his left side?

It was touch and go fir awhile but he’s al right now.              

How dae you get a Scotsman onto the roof?

Tell ‘im the drinks are on the house.

Did ye hear about the Scotsman who married a girl born on February the 29^th?

It was so he'd only have to buy her a birthday present every four years?

Did you here the Energizer Bunny got arrested?
He wiz charged with assualt 'n' battery.

Glasgow Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone down the lavvy and he’s in serious financial problems. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask God for help.

“God, please help me. Ah’ve lost ma wee store and if ah didnae get some money, ah’m going to lose my hoose too. Please let me win the lottery!”

come the night of the lottery someone else wins. Joe prays again.

“God please let me win the lottery ah’m going to loose ma car as weel!” come lottery night still no luck. Joe prays again. Ah’ve lost ma business, ma hoose and ma car. Ma bairns are starving. Ah didnae often ask ye for help and ah have always been a good Christian boy for ye. Please, please let me win the lottery just one time so ah can get back on ma feet!”

Suddenly there is a blinding flash as the heavens open and the voice of God himself thunders:
“Joe at least meet me half way and buy a ticket!”

I'll no burden you way any more.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

Quick cane update

Just a quick update from my last post, I received my new cane today so here's a couple of photos to show you what it's like.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

What? Where? Who? Oh I forgot....

Spent the last ten days outlining a spec sitcom script I'm considering writing with annoying results. Firstly, I have a lot of ideas for plots, character traits, dialogue and so on but the closer it comes to sitting down to actually write the script itself the less I can muster the damn energy to be bothered to actually write it. Secondly, my brain seems determined to start spit balling ideas for another project that is completely different to anything I've ever written before but at the same time interesting enough to keep my wandering attention focused on it instead of on the sitcom script. I'm starting to think I'm loosing my interest in the writing process entirely at this point as I've not really written anything I'd consider of any worth for many a month with the exception of maybe a script I co authored in January.

In other news I have had to buy myself a cane from an online store recently as I can now not move around the house without hugging the walls or gripping the furniture so leaving the house has been not possible and will remain that way till the cane is delivered by the royal mail service and we all know how reliable they are. Why buy a cane you live in the UK can't you get one on the NHS? You may be asking well as I'm tall those extending walking sticks the NHS hands out are actually to small so I would end up getting a crutch or something like that. Getting measured for a cane definitely feels about two steps away from getting measured for a coffin especially when you factor in I'm only 28 years old (29 in May) and already walking like a pensioner with a bad hip and to think people wonder why I have such a pessimistic outlook on life, I wonder why?

Movie Trailer
Here's the trailer for Paul a film that is definitely on my must watch list for 2011, I'm a big fan of both Simon Pegg and Nick Frost and going by the trailers it appears to be another hugely funny collaboration between the pair.

Thanking you

The Housebound Writer

A Writer's Point Of View

I thought it would be interesting to get different screenwriters' perspectives on the art and craft of screenwriting and when I found these clips online I thought it would be a good idea to share them here with all (few) of you. I hope you find them as enlightening as I did.

First up Christopher Vogler the author of the international best selling book The Writer's Journey.

Next is Joe Eszterhas the screenwriter of Basic Instinct, Jagged Edge and Flashdance and the author of the acclaimed book The Devil's Guide To Hollywood. He talks about his extensive research for various writing assignments.

And finally Randall Jahnson who has been writing for over 25 years in Hollywood and written screenplay drafts for The Mask Of Zorro (credited as story by)  The Doors, Gun (video game) and Sunset Strip.

Thanking you
The Housebound Writer